Sunday, March 9, 2008

Warning: I am have a "sad" night.

Is this the face of one happy little girl or what?!
Then why am I so sad? I am having one of those "It is not fair" nights. I know that tomorrow is a new day and I will more than likely be just fine. But tonight it is a pity party for me. I think that as we get closer and closer to May and the 1 year anniversary of her diagnosis it makes me think and wonder what if....
What would it be like if Rett Syndrome was not part of our world?
What if my little girl could hug me goodnight?
What if she could run and jump in bed and wake me up in the morning?
What if she could be starting dance classes instead of "phasing out" of her early intervention program?
What if my little girl could speak those treasured words "mommy, I love you!"

Tonight I am SO thankful for all of the families, doctor's, scientists, and researchers working night and day towards a cure for this horrible disease. I am thankful for all of you who read this blog daily and pray for Brooklyn, for our family and for a cure. I am thankful that Brooklyn is such an amazing little girl!

9 comments:

Avery said...

kelly, I do completely understand. Life isnt fair! I have been on this whirlwind twice and so far have managed to come through in one piece! She might not be able to do all those things. But you know you are loved. Im sure her smile first thing in the morning is just as bright as Averys is when she sees me. I KNOW I am loved. Although the words are nice to hear, her eyes can speak a million words! Keep your head up! hugs-Carrie & Aves

Rebecca said...

Kelly, your post has me in tears tonight. You know when you try and tell someone how you're feeling and they say "yeah I know how you feel," when they have nothing to even remotely compare to your life? Well, I wont say I know how you feel, because all of our girls are different. I will say though that I know how you feel about Rett Syndrome in general. I should be planning for Kindergarten with excitement about my 5 yr old starting school, but instead I plan with fear. Fear that she wont be accepted. There are plenty of days I'd rather just live in my Rett dream land very everyone understands. Hang in there. Our family is praying for your family. We pray that together we will someday celebrate a cure, and celebrate everything our girls can do. Ok..This comment got really long. BIG HUGS to you guys.

kristin said...

First Kel I have to apologize..here I am in tears this morning worried about Jackson as I drop him off at the YMCA for daycare for the first time. You should tell me to take a flying leap!!! I am so sorry for being so selfish!! You know I love you and Brooklyn and will do anything to help you het through these "sad" moments! You & Brooklyn are TRULY AMAZING and I can not say that enough! XOXOXO

Grammy said...

Kelly, I love seeing the look on Brooklyn's face when you come home for lunch and after work. She has the same look for Charlie when he walks in the door. This is a look NO WORDS could describe! She adores you both! And I love all of you so much. Thank you for letting me watch Brooklyn, it is truly the best job I have ever had!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo

Avery said...

grammy, you sound like a wonderful person! Brooklyn is very lucky to have such loving people in her life!

georgiamom said...

I'm sorry you were having a sad day and you are certainly entitled to it! We all have days like that. Brooklyn is an amazing little girl though!

Alisa said...

Cheer Up, it's a new day and we hope it's a better one for you today!! I think it's okay to have sad days/nights. It's justified and you shouldn't feel bad for having them. I think it inevitably gives you strength and courage to keep forging ahead through unchartered waters. I can't say enough about Brooklyn's smile. It is so loving and happy. You help give her that warmth in her smile. Sad days eventually lead to happy days and it's okay to have them.
hugs across the miles,
Alisa, Andersen and Ava

shannon said...

I left a message on your cell phone because my previous response got deleted somehow! I love ya!

Sam and Finn said...

Kel, we can't even imagine what you are going through. But I know how much I admire you as a Mom. Love ya.