Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My "Trigger"

This title might not make sense (except to Bridget) but I think I found my "trigger." I am sure every "Rett Mom" has them....something that makes us "lose it." Actually...since Brooklyn's diagnosis is still so new I have LOTS of "triggers" (really, some days EVERYTHING makes me cry) but I think weddings might be one of those things that will always get me.

Charlie and I attended a BEAUTIFUL wedding this past weekend. It was personally touching because the bride's cousin is a very amazing special needs 15 year old gal herself. This beautiful young lady was part of the bridal party. The bride wanted her to go down the isle so that she could "know the feeling of going down the isle." Let's face it; the truth is she will never have a wedding of her own.

"Gasp....."

My little girl won't either. WOW! This was one occasion where I am SOOOOO glad it is perfectly acceptable to cry at weddings. I was happy that this young lady was having such a special evening (she even ended up on the dance floor later with the bride and groom for the Chicken Dance!!) but I was also very sad at thinking about the loss of yet another dream for Brooklyn. A dream ALL moms had for themselves and for their little girls.

Don't worry. I am not going to hang out in this pity party I am having for myself very long I just needed to get it out there......

I also want to thank Amanda and Niki that (even though they are miles away) sent me their love and support in the midst of my wallowing! They both happened to email me at a moment of weakness so I "unloaded" on them. Thanks girls!!

6 comments:

Kelly said...

I appreciate you sharing to help us all gain a perspective of what your lives are like. We continue to pray that God gives you strength in the down times and amazing joy in all the exciting times.

Anonymous said...

You know you can count on my for anything and just remember, you are allowed to have those moments! You don't always have to be strong.

Rebecca said...

Ah Triggers...Weddings are hard for me too. I always cry when I hear of new born baby girls too...I cry and think "what if...?"

Doris said...

You know, the triggers are different on different days. Some days, I'm surrounded by kids/weddings/parties and I'm fine and happy, other days, the exact same thing makes me tear up and anxious. I think this is one of the hardest things to come to terms with.

Kristin said...

I wish I was their with you Kel...sorry!!!!

Robbie said...

One day I walked into the Capezio store, took one look at the little pink tutus, and completely lost it...right in the middle of the mall. Never saw THAT coming! Poor sales people!