I know 3 posts in one day is A LOT but....I just was emailing my cousin back and it prompted me to blog once more. She was praising me for my strength and telling me how wonderful I am. Many of you reading this have and I THANK you all so much for your kind words. But believe me, there are days I am anything but strong and wonderful. There are moments that lead to hours that I cry till there are no tears left inside – I just usually decided not to post on the blog those days.
I guess maybe I should. I think I appear WAY STRONGER than I am. But really…..I have to be strong….for her. So I try to be and the days that I am not, I fake it (or don't leave the house....both work for me so far!)
Believe me, I still have faith in God and do not worry I have NO plans in losing that anytime soon (ultimately He is in control and will get us through this) but honestly I am pretty much ticked off at Him some days when the only thing I want in the whole wide world is to hear Brooklyn say “mommy” or be able to hug me back when I squeeze her. That really does not seem like a huge request in my opinion. I do not want to be rich or famous or anything crazy like that, ya know? (God is big, He can handle my feelings I think.)
I hope this post does not ruin everyone's image of me. I just wanted to get a couple thoughts off my mind, thanks for listening!